WB: You are a mentor, a life coach, a blogger, a mom and a wife. You’re busy!!! How do you do it all?
APDM: Well I actually think ‘doing it all’ is a myth. It’s actually the number one question I get asked and I truthfully think it is one that makes other moms have unrealistic expectations about what they should be doing.
What I can say is that I do what aligns best with my priorities for that day. Once I got over the expectation to ‘do it all’ I found I was ending my day feeling much more satisfied, rather than disappointed with what didn’t get done.
But besides making sure I’ve identified my top 3 priorities for the day the night before, I find that having good systems and routines makes me feel more together and less of a hot mess.
The Number 1 thing I suggest women can start doing to get systems moving in their lives is to get a good planning system together. These are the steps I suggest to make a weekly and daily plan:
- Start with putting in things you can’t change (appointments, kid’s events etc.)
- Add in 15 minutes a day to work on a goal for you (whether that’s going to the gym, working on a decluttering project, or some other self care).
- Then block out time for a routine or habit you want to grow (your morning or evening routines for example) so that you can track your success.
- You should also add in at least 15 minutes a day of growth and learning. This could be a podcast, a course you’re taking, or a book for you.
- Lastly, you add in all the other stuff - errands, things others need from you, phone calls etc… As women we often do this in reverse and start with what others need from us. If you can start your day with just 45 planned minutes for YOU, you can handle life more when things pop up.
WB: How did you get into the coaching/mentor business? What is your background like?
APDM: I call myself an ‘accidental entrepreneur.’ I was a high school special education teacher for 8 years and it’s what I wanted to do since I was in 2nd grade. But after 8 years of giving to others and putting myself on the back burner, my anxiety was through the roof and I had lost myself.
I told my husband that I needed a change and we figured out the amount of money I needed to make for me to get there. I’m an action taker so I was up for the challenge!
I got started with network marketing and after a year had made enough to replace my teaching salary and left to be my own boss. 2 years into working at home full time, I felt God tug on my heart that He wanted me to impact women differently and A Purpose Driven Mom was born.
It’s been two years since I started that business and it’s been amazing! I get to help overwhelmed moms develop their own systems and routines to be less stressed and go after their own goals and wake up excited to show up for them daily!
WB: Being a coach /mentor must require you always having a positive attitude, even when times are tough. How do you stay focused and continue on your path?
APDM: The thing about mindset is that it’s your choice. I am definitely not all 'rainbows and sunshine’ and I make sure I share that with my moms.
I think in our social media world, the pressure to be perfect is huge and when we aren’t real and authentic and share the struggles along with the success we do a disservice to the person on the other side of the screen.
After my son was born I had postpartum anxiety and depression and, even though it took me a few months to be ready, I did share this journey with my community. The amount of messages I’ve gotten from moms who could relate made me realize how powerful it was to share not only the messy parts but how I’ve been able to cope and come out the other side.
When I am struggling, my anxiety is high or I’m just having a rough day, I do have a few things that help me stop being a victim of my circumstances and change my mood and mindset:
- I let myself feel it. I’m frustrated - cool. I’m sad - okay. I’m worried - be worried. But I don’t live in it. I tell myself (and yup I talk to myself out loud) “This situation makes you feel lost. But you aren’t lost, you just feel it in this moment”. Instead of brushing my feelings under the rug, I put on a 5 minute timer, live in them and then try to move on.
- I immediately check my surroundings to see how it’s impacting me. Am I in a setting that I could leave that might be contributing? Do I have the news on and it’s making me feel down? Did I just get off the phone with someone who drained my energy? If so I make a physical move (another room or location) so that I can reset.
- Next I turn on either my dance around playlist (right now I'm jamming out to You Say by Lauren Daigle and Dog Days by Florence and the Machine with lots of the Greatest Showman and Panic at the Disco thrown in!) or a podcast to flip the switch on whatever negativity is piling up in my mind.
So often when we are having a bad day we have to ask ourselves, “Is this a bad day or a bad few minutes I’m holding onto for the rest of the day” and keep it moving.
WB: What’s your advice for staying sane this holiday season?
APDM: Plan as much in advance as you can. I take time in October to make my master lists - from menus, to gifts, to things I have to clean. This way I know what to expect, can plan for it and schedule it out in advance.
And don’t forget it’s okay to say ‘no’. You don’t need to attend every event, every party or every social engagement that pops up on your kids' calendar to be a good person.WB: What are you wishing for under the tree?
APDM: So hubby and I don’t do gifts for each other but I did tell him I’d love to get a hotel room so the two of us can just get away for 24-48 hours. With the demands of our jobs we can become passing ships and I know it’s important to cultivate our marriage.
Oh.. and I desperately want a Roomba!
WB: What do you like to do when you aren’t coaching or mom-ing?
APDM: I’m a big reader! I used to read a ton as a kid and stopped once I had kids. Last November I realized that I’ve only picked up personal growth books for the past 3 years and wanted to get back to fiction! I started that day and made a goal of 24 books in 2019 - I just finished book 42! I’m obsessed with historical fiction - particularly anything about World War II!
WB: We love having you as a Woosh Beauty fan and the way you describe our Fold Out Face Palette: “All you need to do is pick your shade. All of the products are pre-selected for you!”. Tell us how Woosh has made your life better and simplified your morning (and night time!) makeup routine…..
APDM: I’m obsessed with my fold out face! I have ZERO clue what to do when it comes to make up but have always wanted to try it out. The palette has given me the confidence (and easy directions) to try out makeup! I now can get my face done super easy every day without having to find a million products since it’s all in one spot!